About Links Archive Thats My Cake Follow Me
You are here: Home / Archives for single mom

6 months..

February 13, 2012 2 Comments

This time last week, a 6 month “anniversary” snuck right by me.

5 months ago, I wouldn’t have fathomed the possibility of that date passing by without noticing.

For 6 months we have survived.

But more than surviving, we’ve had fun and by some miracle we’ve made it through this. Me and Miles. Side by side.

I like to think this pregnancy has helped by making the time WOOOSH  by. And by giving me something to focus on. Something beyond the empty spot in my bed. The empty chair at the dinner table, and the naked finger on my left hand.

I’ve been focusing on so much more than those things.

We’ve been playing hard and resting even harder.

I’ve become more grateful for the patience and acceptance my little 3 year old has. For his good attitude and for what an, overall, well behaved boy he is.

But I still can’t ignore that 6 months have passed.
I wonder what the limitations are on saying this situation is “new” for us. I still tell people it “just happened.” it feels like it JUST HAPPENED. my heart is still raw, the wounds are still so fresh. Yet, a week ago 6 months have passed. And I didn’t even notice.

Instead I noticed how incredibly smart Miles has become. I’ve noticed his amazing memory, as he recalls vivid details of a building he hasn’t been to or see since he was 20 months old.  I’ve noticed that I have 2 months left before I reunite this little guy in my tummy with his mommy and daddy. I’ve noticed the sun shining through trees, instead of dark bleary winter we are used to. I’ve noticed blessings pouring onto us. More than we deserve. I’ve noticed friends taking care of us. Inviting us over for play time. Inviting me out to dinner. I’ve noticed tighter hugs as Miles whispers in my ear, “I missed you so much at dada’s house.” I’ve noticed his cuddling and his laughter. Our moments together are so much sweeter. For both of us.

I’ve noticed so much more than 6 months of being alone.

And I think THAT is what this is really about.

Filed Under: divorce, My Thoughts, single mom

The dreaded “D” word..

December 29, 2011 15 Comments

It’s been kinda quiet around here.

I needed time.

Time to remind my heart to keep beating.

Time for my brain to wrap it’s self around what happened.

Time for me to dwell on the “what now.”

***************************************************

Awhile ago my husband made the decision to leave our marriage.

I was shocked and completely blindsided from the beginning.

I’m over the details.

I used to thrive on spilling every little detail to anyone that seemed like they were even slightly interested. But not anymore.

It is what it is.

I’m a single mom.

He has his own apartment.

Miles doesn’t have a daddy that lives here anymore.

Really? Those are the only ‘details’ that matter anymore. Or at least matter to us.

We are “ok”. I’ve used the term okayish more than I can even count. Because how are you okay when your 4 year marriage abruptly comes to a screeching halt? How are you okay when you hear your baby cry because he misses his daddy? Or when he says over and over “I wish dada could come home.”

So we’re not really okay. But at the same time we are.

We get up, we get dressed, we play with toys.
We have good days.
We have bad nights here and there. But we have good days.

I still have a happy 3 year old (HE TURNED THREE!!) and another family’s squirmy little one in my tummy to take care of. We are doing okay.
I can’t say enough about the out pouring of love, prayers and hugs that have come our way. I have felt truly and peace through this and I know that’s the reason.

Thank you for enduring the silence while I didn’t know quite what to say.

But now that the bad news is out of the way, we have lots of happy things to talk about again.

Filed Under: divorce, single mom Tagged With: ,

Oh Minnesota..

July 21, 2011 1 Comment

PHEW.. we survived. There we definitly more than a few moments in our 6 days in the midwest that I wondered what in the WORLD I was thinking traveling 1300 miles across the country with a 2 year old with no help. Solo parenting had a few rough moments.

And other than the SWELTERING heat index of 117 degrees (Thank you, Minnesota for making us prisoners to air conditioning), it was a wonderful break from everyday life filled with even better company of great friends.

My nerves were as high as they could possibly get as we entered the airport. Ready or not, we were there and I was about to take a 2 hour plane ride alone with my toddler who was SERIOUS about not riding on an airplane big in the sky.

So… I just didnt tell him where we were going. We walked down the jetway and he walked with tripdation down the isle of the plane to our seats. Until he saw all the other planes out the window and FINALLY got excited about going on a plane.

He sat nervously… But the “DD” player was going and snacks we close by..

It didnt take him long to get comfy and kick back with his feet up on his tray. He loved every second. No sound, or bump or anything made him nervous. He watched all the clouds go by and even the cars on the road as we prepared to land..

Minnesota took my breath away. I have never really been in any sort of humidity, and Minnesota didn’t mess around with it’s level of humidity. I wasn’t prepared, and probably complained a little more than was necessary.

 

Miles took advantage and spent a little more time than normal “nakey”… (he also spent WAY more than the normal amount of times watching movies in our room because he couldn’t figure out how to play nicely.. ahem..)

I knew that NO trip to MN would be complete without a trip to the Mall of America. We honestly saw one hallway of stores and half of the amusement park. Miles and I rode on a couple rides, but it was quickly approaching the little’s bedtimes.

That was probably the only regret I have. Not being able to spend more time there. I was secretly hoping our flight home would be oversold and we could spend the evening playing there. I would have loved to visit the museum and look around a little more. It was definitely a cool place! And ample (free) air conditioning!

We attempted a firetruck museum in Minneapolis. I say attempted because this train table was one of the first things in the door, and we lost Miles to it almost the entire time. But considering our goal was just to get out of the house.. we accomplished it!

We attended one of the BEST birthday parties we have ever been too. Miles had an absolute blast. I had a great time talking to mom’s with silly accents. And Miles had an opportunity to boss someone other than OBoy around for a few hours. Win Win all around.

We spent lots of time just relaxing. Anyone with kids knows that sleep and vacation dont mix well. Naps were short, if at all and night we’re late and mornings were early. But we made the best of our tired time and cuddled in bed.

We had an absolute blast at the Children’s Museum. Playing for 5 or 6 hours. That, coincidentally was also the best night of sleep he had.

 

We ate good food, spent time as a family and enjoyed each other so much.  Just when I thought we maybe planned too long of a trip the rest of the time went zooming by and I wasn’t ready to leave..

We are so grateful for the amazing friends we have in the O’s .. and for everything they did for us while we were there.

The best part of the 6 days?????

THIS.. was my view from the time we sat down on the airplane (before we even took off) till 5 minutes before we landed in Salt Lake.
Miles slept the ENTIRE flight. It was glorious, and lonely, and glorious.

Filed Under: Miles, single mom

To the Top