I hate talking about this kind of stuff. I don’t want to scare people away from surrogacy, or see those pity eyes that silently say “I knew she wouldn’t be able to handle this.” Oh and please don’t treat me like that girl that is always emotional about it. I promise you, I’m fine. I […]
[Continue reading...]From the twin bed in the spare bedroom, I hear the creaking of the front door and immediately shut my eyes so I can pretend I’m asleep when he walks up the stairs. I just cant tonight. It’s been too many nights of the same discussion. I just can’t. I want just one night to […]
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Will you join me today over at Today’s Mama?? This post means so much to me. Caught somewhere between two places that I didn’t (maybe even, don’t) know exist. That fine balance between being family, or being a business transaction. Wanting more. And “what happens now.” “I think it’s a pretty common surrogate feeling to […]
[Continue reading...]The cold rock was hard against my back but simultaneously felt like the softest place I had ever rested. A few stars sparkled through the towering pine trees above us. The air was cool and crisp, but I still couldn’t take a full breath. I know EVERYTHING about him. EVERYTHING. He told me the story […]
[Continue reading...]Sometimes I get in my car and forget to turn the radio on. Some days the brief silence is refreshing and renews my soul. Lately, any moment of silence leads my thoughts to the same place. I REALLY DID THIS. I had another woman’s egg placed in my body. I carried a baby that wasn’t […]
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