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Right foot then left foot…

I hate talking about this kind of stuff.
I don’t want to scare people away from surrogacy, or see those pity eyes that silently say “I knew she wouldn’t be able to handle this.”
Oh and please don’t treat me like that girl that is always emotional about it.
I promise you, I’m fine. I just want to share. Stick with me.

There are transitions you face in this process.
I KNOW they are there, I’ve seen close friends go through them.
Knowing they are coming doesn’t make them easier.
Today I entered the next one.
it’s been hard.

Every 2 days for 10 weeks Ive met up with my new family to hand over milk for my little buddy.
I was SO happy that they wanted me to provide milk for him and SO happy my body cooperated.

But the time is coming to an end. He’s slowly being transitioned to formula and I’m in milk freezing mode so he can continue on his Auntie Ryley’s milk for at least another month part time.

This officially the longest I’ve gone without seeing someone in the family, IN MONTHS!

All the sudden my subconscious is screaming “HE DOESN’T NEED YOU ANYMORE.”
And my spirit is crushed.

As much as I know that isn’t true, it’s just another transition.
When I’m done pumping for him, my “job” will be officially over.

It’s a tough pill to swallow.
its just one more step in this journey.
One I know I can take with confidence, and one I know I look back on and laugh.

But now….. it’s a hard step to take.

Right foot out of this journey and left foot into the next..



  1. Oh my sweet Ryley. Sending you lots of hugs.

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