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“At least he doesnt have a peanut allergy”

“At least he doesn’t have a peanut allergy.”

That phrase is said to me AT LEAST once a day.

I’m feeling frustrated/overwhelmed/whoa-is-me lately about Miles’s food allergies. Or maybe not “his” food allergies, maybe just food allergies in general. It may be just because I am more sensitive to it, but people just don’t get it.

I day dream about going to a restaurant and asking Miles if he wants a hamburger or chicken strips for dinner. Instead, I pack a whole meal for him for an hour before we leave.

Don’t read me wrong, I am not upset about his allergies. I don’t dread doing those things. But I think a lot about “Do other parents realize how easy they have it.”

(But in retrospect, do I realize how easy I have it? I have a child who is healthy, can walk, can talk and has a roof over his head, food in his belly and loving parents..)

I digress, food allergies are HARD, yo!

I love this article that Katie wrote, it sums up how I feel so much. One of the comments really struck me (almost bringing me to tears)

Drayre says:
I feel terrible for parents of kids who have severe food allergies. Do they ever feel that their kids are safe? Even with bans on peanut or nut products in school can you really trust that every parent is going to respect that mandate and not send their kids with a PB&J? or a peanut butter cookie?

NO! a big huge NO! I NEVER feel like Miles is safe. EVER. I question everyone, everything that goes into is mouth is looked at by me. I am worried always. I can never let my guard down.

It was easier when he was little. I controlled everything, but now he’s older. He walks around, he can reach things, open the pantry door and wants what all the other kids have.

We work tirelessly on what has “allergy.” If you were ever in a grocery store with my  2 year old you would be shocked at the amount of things he can point out that have “allergy.” We live around the corner from his hospital, we pass it daily. He reminds us every time that it is the “owie tummy hosbible,” we in turn reiterate “What give you an owie tummy.” He answers “allergy.”  My two year old. My two year old has to know what he can eat and what he can’t eat, and he has to know if he eats something wrong, he has to go to the “owie tummy hosbible” I hate that. So much, for him.

but at the same time, I take a deep breath and remember, there are 2 year olds on chemo. There are 2 year olds waiting for organ transplants. My kid just cant eat stuff, no big deal. I try to remind myself a lot, but this still sucks for us, here and now.

I am SO grateful my parents “get it.” My mom reads everything so closely, and then asks me to read it. Since they live with us, I am glad I can rest a little easier knowing they understand. But I still check, “Is that his butter you used on the bread?” “Did you touch that spoon to our food?” “Don’t feed him off your fork.” “Don’t let him touch that, it touched cheese.”

It never ends.

“At least he doesn’t have a peanut allergy.”

He does. He does have a peanut allergy. But more than that, his dairy allergy is equivalent to a severe peanut allergy. So I say “He does have a peanut allergy, but it’s not very severe. His dairy allergy is as severe as the peanut allergies everyone is afraid of.” Which is always followed by “Thank goodness his peanut allergy isn’t that bad, could you imagine?” YES, i can imagine! THAT is what is dairy allergy is like. He has the WORST dairy allergy his allergist has ever seen. But for some reason, people don’t see that as a big problem. But it’s okay.

Sometimes I answer with “Yes, he actually does have a peanut allergy, and a dairy allergy, and an egg allergy and a soy allergy, and a rice allergy, and an oat allergy, and a chicken allergy and a turkey allergy.”

That usually shuts them up..

My (then) 8 month old baby 5 minutes into his 1st allergy test... 

3 more months before we head to the allergist for another testing.. …


  1. Oh my gosh, Ryley! Your poor little one! I had no idea how severe his allergies really are. My heart goes out to you. Yes, we can always count our blessings our children aren’t suffering from worse trials, but that doesn’t make the trials they do suffer from any easier. You are an awesome mom–look how much you’ve taught your two-year-old already!

  2. OK, you know I don’t have kids, but as an adult with food allergies, I so get this. I can’t even imagine dealing with it with a kid. I have moments where I just decided that, in the name of social grace, I’m going to eat something and deal with it if I feel bad. But a kid can’t do that! I can’t imagine how scary it must be to know you can’t control everything he puts in his mouth! I hope things get better for the little man (and you!). I’m going to be blogging a lot about living with allergies as an adult– maybe you can guest post sometime?

  3. I am so sorry. I do have the same feelings about Carsyn. Yes he is pretty much healthy and not going through Chemo but it is still hard seeing him go through everything he is. Praying for his test in 3 months.

  4. Wow, I’m so sorry for the difficulty you’ve had with allergies! Food allergies with kids are hard :-(

    Have you ever read about the GAPS diet and healing the intestinal lining as a way of recovering from food allergies? I wonder if this would help your son or not??

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