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Trying to remember…

As I sit here at the computer tonight… pumping.. and listening to my baby scream at the top of his lungs because he doesn’t want to go to sleep.. I’m trying desperately not to break into tears too…
I am soooo overwhelmed right now. I feel so stuck… Like when you are so far down you can’t get up.. That’s me right now.

I can’t tell you the last time my dishes were done, but I do know it was before memorial day. Those dishes are still there. There is something in the sink that smells soooo bad I can hardly walking into the kitchen..

The other night I dumped a bag of rice all over the kitchen floor… It’s still there…

I can’t remember the last time we put laundry away. It’s all clean.. all piled on our floor, on our bed and on the bed in the baby’s room.. Come to think of it. I think the last time I put laundry away was during the season finale of Brother and Sisters.. That was awhile ago..

There are 4 empty laundry detergent bottles above our washer… 4!!!

I am loosing so much hair right now (thank you lovely postpartum hormones!) that there is hair covering every surface of this house.. it gets wrapped around your toes and clings to everything.. I hate it..

The dog is standing at the back door trying to make us think he needs to go out.. but he doesn’t. This drives me absolutely insane.. and I usually end up taking out all my frustration on him.. But only because I know his love can be purchased with treats…

Everything is a mess.. everything is cluttered.. I feel like you can’t even walk in our house.. I want to run far away.. I keep telling Aaron that it might be easier to move than to clean.. and sometimes I really feel like that..

And then it hits me..

How about 15 times a day I remind myself of dates and things I can’t forget to write down, things I don’t want to assume I’ll remember..

Like how on Sunday the 31st of May we FINALLY got Miles to repeat Da-Da to us.. and how he wouldn’t stop saying it after he started.. Aaron was so happy.. He had to tell everyone about it..

Like how on Tuesday the 28th we switched him to regular ol’ baby bottles and packed up all the fancy schmancy Dr. Brown bottles. I know I’ll want to remember that for the next one. To remember at what age we can switch the next one over and be okay…

Like how cute this new spitting stage is.. and how funny he finds it when you tell him to “shhhhhhh” He thinks its hilarious and will laugh the hardest and someone telling him to “shhhhh” especially if you point your finger at him while you’re doing it and look really mad…

About 15 times a day I recite these things to myself so I don’t forget to write them down.. I’m going to want to remember them one day…

So today.. amongst all this mess, all this chaos..

I sit down to write them down.. because those things I need to remember. Not the rice on the floor, not the dish in the sink that smells so bad, not the dog standing at the door begging to go out for the 17th time in 5 minutes…

It’s the first da-da’s …. The regular bottles.. the infectious laughing.. that is all that really matters…

Oh and the beautiful baby I’m watching in the monitor that finally fell peacefully asleep…

******Edited to add********
I knew I forgot one things that I’ve been trying to remember.. Monday the 1st of June I cut my sons finger nails for the first time EVER!! It took me 5 (almost 6 months) to be able to do it myself. And I finally did… Thankfully Katie has become our personal finger nail clipper! :)


  1. Mixed Up Me says

    The first comment that comes to mind, I will refrain from posting because it might make you mad . . .

    My second comment is . . . OH MY GOODNESS, Pooks is talking!!!! How cute is that??!!

  2. I think this is a beautiful post. Sometimes it really helps to put things in perspective, doesn't it?

  3. Welcome to motherhood!!! Now you know why I am the way I am… Sometimes it can be pretty rough but then you look at that cute little kid and realize it is so worth it!… most of the time:)

  4. I'm having one of those days today, so I really needed to read this! Those small moments of parenthood really do make everything else worth it. (And I would be in trouble if I didn't cut Abbi's fingernails. They grow so fast – I cut them every day to every other day and she still manages to scratch her face up all the time!)

  5. The Baugh Family says

    Why are you pumping and typing on the computer or should I say… how can you do both?? Great post bt the way!!!

  6. I have a hands free pumping bra!! It is a life saver!! Especially since I'm pretty much only pumping.. I maybe actually nurse him just once a day, sometimes not at all… :)

  7. Never worry about the mess. It'll pass in time, and you won't remember any of it, because you have your priorities right! And your children won't remember it, either, because they ARE your priority, and that's all that matters.


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