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Change of passion..

My heart feels so conflicted these days.

I have passion.

That has never  been something I lacked. Whether it’s a passion for something positive  though, has always been the problem.

I had a passion for getting in trouble in elementary school (HECK, preschool .. I once told my preschool teacher not to talk to me like that because I had a belt in my cubby. Oh yes, I did!)

I had a passion for good grades… once.

I had a passion for skipping school, a passion for teaching, a passion for children.

But most recently my passion grew into my cake business.

It has been a fantastic outlet for my passion. It provides supplemental income for my family. It makes me feel important and wanted. It gives me a hobby. I love it. (Truthfully, I love it ‘most’ of the time.)

But my heart is torn.

My heart is SO full with surrogacy right now. I want to advocate, I want to educate. I want surrogacy to be my everything right now.

I took a hiatus from my cake business. At first it started with a (rare!) 2 weeks with NO ORDERS! I was scared at first. Then realized it might be nice. Then, I started turning down orders. First it was a cake I didn’t really have time to do. (I could have made time) Then it was a cake I didn’t really want to do. A cupcake order I didn’t feel like making, and it just snowballed.  I didn’t fill one single order in April. I didn’t bake one cake, or one cupcake.

I rationalized it all to myself.

“I have to make a lot of short notice trips to LA, I shouldn’t plan any cakes.”

“I don’t know when the IVF will be. I should plan any cakes”

“What if I’m on bed rest?” “What if it’s a difficult pregnancy”

Really, I just wanted to be pregnant. I wanted to do this. I didn’t want to fog my brain with cakes. I needed to focus on being a happy healthy environment to grow this couples child(ren).

 

SO, I made the decision. I would (of course!) keep the commitments I had through September. I have 4 cakes on my books through the end of September. But, I wouldn’t be taking anymore. At least not until this surrogacy journey is over. Then I’ll decide if I want to crank things back up and get the business going again.

That day I decided to hang it all up and call it quits….. I received 5!!!!!! cake orders. I didn’t turn down a single one.

And they haven’t stopped coming in.

I’m taking this as God’s sign that I’m not done.

That He is telling me I have room enough in my heart for both passions. I can grow a family for an amazing couple and still make brides’ dreams come true.

I can do both.

I am trusting WHOLE HEARTEDLY in His plan. Because it IS NOT mine.

But the best plans sometimes aren’t.. right?

The cake that started it all. My first cake I EVER made was my own wedding cake. From there..That’s My Cake! was born! (and why yes, that is a shark tank behind us. Did I ever tell you about that one time I got married at an aquarium?? Good story!)

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Jenny McDonald says:

    Ryley, you’re a beautiful, wonderful person! I’m lucky to know you! If you need anything let me know, I’m here for you. And no, I haven’t heard about the wedding at an aquarium and I’d love to hear more about it!

    • OH Jenny, you are SO sweet!!!
      Thank you!!!!
      I have made it a goal to not be afraid to ask for help this time around, so I might just call on you! :)
      And YES, one day I should talk about our Aquarium love! :)

  2. I am glad you have room for both. I would miss all the tweets with the goodies I want to eat and the cute pictures of your little boy eating batter! ;)

    • I’ll try to keep room for both.
      I’ve worked too hard to build up this company to just let it fizzle..
      But I’d reallly like to just be a baby machine for awhile! :)

  3. If anyone can make lots of beautiful things at once, including a baby, that would be you.

    • Thanks Em!
      We’ll see how it works!
      I did okay last pregnancy, but for some reason I just feel like since it’s someone else’s baby that I need to take it EXTRA easy! :)

  4. Came across your blog, wanted to comment and say I enjoy what I have read so far and will be reading more another day.

  5. Hey look at that! We have the same passions! I love making cakes and cake balls, and I’m a first time surrogate and so excited. I look forward to following both your blogs!

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