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Forever and Always…

When I first started reading blogs, I was just that, A reader. Nothing more. I read who my sister read, kept up with their lives and loved the inside look into everything they did. I’m a nosy person by nature. Very nosy. I’m the person everyone comes to when they want to know what is going on, and usually, I know. Reading blogs seemed to fulfill this need I had to always know what was going on.
I don’t remember who the first person was that changed me. Somewhere along the line I became so wrapped up in the lives, the tears and the laughter. I cried along side of their sorrows and journeys, laughed along side of their joy’s and jokes.
My husband one night turned to me and said “You have to stop doing this to yourself, you can’t get so wrapped up in someone’s story.” After I had spent HOURS reading back through someones complete archive. I just couldn’t get enough.
I have never been much of a book reader. I never found an author that I got. But here, I found authors I got. Authors that spoke to me and to my soul.
I realized that these words I am reading are someone else out These words aren’t here because they are writing for someone to read, they are writing to get the words out of their head. I just happen to be privy to their thoughts. They enjoy sharing them with others.
As time went on, I became more enthralled with the writings and lives of so many women. Their stories are so amazing. Their lives are unbelievable, their strength is
unmeasurable, their faith is unmovable.

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I don’t remember when I first started reading Beth’s blog. She was someone my sister read so I did too. I remember when she announced she was pregnant, and at the same time with the TWINS! My sister and I live a state apart. So we text A LOT! I remembering talking about Beth announcing she was pregnant. It came around the same time a few other bloggers announced also. The text went something like “Did you see folding laundry is pregnant with TWINS?!?!” We were so excited, we read every day to see the newest updates, the newest baby bump pictures. And that picture when everyone was 4 at the same time. The kids were both 4 and she was 4 months along.
I remember the morning not long after that when I arrived at work, and sent the text.. “Have you read folding laundry today?” My heart racing. My hands shaking, and tears already welling in my eyes.

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Its funny how weird it seems to people who don’t get what this community is about. The people who don’t see the miracles performed when this community rallies around one and another. People don’t understand that moments like these stick with you forever, like it is your own family, your real best friend. Its a Princess Diana, JFK, 9-11 kind of moment. Something you will never forget, something you never want to forget. Something you wont forget for them.
From the moment Beth shared with all of us the birds reminded her of James and Jake, I see them everywhere. Every time I see
two birds together, two statues, two pendants, on a picture, in a tree. I think of Beth and I think of James and Jake. I know others do too. I have seen it.

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Being a parent is terrifying. I would be lying if I said I have never thought of the what-ifs. What if this was me? It could so easily be, I deserve it as much as any of these other women. Or I guess I don’t deserve it anymore than any of these other women didn’t deserve it. I have always thought that my main concern would be people forgetting. I would never want them to forget. So I know I make a conscience effort to smile a little more, say a little prayer, or just send a good thought any time I see those sweet boys. All for someone I have never met before. There’s where it gets good.

So today, James and Jake, on the day you were born. We remember you. You are never ever forgotten. And you are loved more today and more everyday..

{Photo borrowed from I Should Be Folding Laundry}

Comments

  1. I think you said it just right. <3

  2. You should not have been worried at all about how you told this story. Perfect. :) <3

  3. p.s. And I totally agree… I'll talk about one of you and my husband says, "How do you know her again?" He tries but he just doesn't understand the whole twitter blogging friendship thing. But it's sooo important to me!

  4. This so touching. The relationships we have is something that can never be understood by someone outside of the community, but it is SO real.

  5. I was lead to her blog from you, and have been enjoying it over the past few weeks. And even though I wasn't a reader 2 years ago, I wept when I read her post today. But I'm a believer that blogging and writing is healing. And I've made so many "friends" online, it's been my way of keeping sane!

  6. Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry says:

    Oh sweet girl, this is beautifully written. I can honestly say that you stand out as one of my biggest supporters and encouragers and am so grateful for you.

    You have such a big, caring heart, which, in my opinion, is one of the things you need to get "wrapped up" in this crazy, wonderful world of blogging.

    Thank you for remembering.

  7. so beautiful and true.

    {and you "knew" beth before i did!} lucky you.

  8. Serene is my name, not my life! says:

    Hey girl!
    I just had to come by after reading your comment over at MMB. It just made my heart hurt.
    You are beautiful and so is your little boy.

    I LOVED this post. You are so right. It is an amazing community out there. I have found loads of friends and support. No one tells you just how lonely being a mom can be. And while I write my blog with the intent to make people laugh, I most definitely do have hard days. lots and lots of them. My husband doesn't get it, but I do.
    Well said.

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