The day before Thanksgiving that all changed. His work from home job was taken away and we were left with a choice. Do we look for another job that will be out of the house, or does he just stay home and enter the role of Stay At Home Dad?
It wasn’t easy. The decision wasn’t easy for our heads to make. Our hearts had already made the decision and couldn’t be swayed. But our heads, they needed a little help.
It wasn’t rational to leave our family with only my income. It wasn’t rational for me to be the sole provider for our family. We have obstacles, we have mistakes we have made, we have holes to dig out of. We knew they would only collapse more if we made this choice. We knew we’d be in trouble, we knew it wouldn’t just be hard. It would be impossible.
We didn’t let our hearts take over. We thought rationally. We took notes, we made spreadsheets. We talked in great length. We looked at every option. We researched day cares. Most importantly we prayed. We didn’t pray for the answer we wanted. We prayed for clarity and to make the best decision for our family. The decision He’d have us make. Not our decision.
We knew instantly His answer, and we made plan for my income to hold us afloat for awhile. If only just barely above the water, we would still be able to breath.
Then and there I made the choice that if we lost everything it didn’t matter. My family matters. My family being together matters.
Aaron has assumed his role beautifully. I won’t say it was a smooth transition. We faced (and still face) opposition from the community. In our society its not common for the man to stay home and raise the family while the wife works. Its not common, but it’s right for us. It’s so right for us. We couldn’t imagine things any other way. We are both in the places we belong for OUR FAMILY.
Every day I leave before Miles wakes up. Most nights I get home 30 minutes before I lay him down in bed. I share his day through pictures sent to me by my husband.
I don’t even know the last time Aaron was away from Miles for more than 2 hours during the day. They are a team. They don’t do anything without each other.
Sometimes I think that should be me. But then I realize how perfect it is that it’s not me. They were both meant for this. Meant for each other.
It may not be socially acceptable that I go to work every day while my husband stays home to raise our family and take care of our house. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is what is in our hearts. What we know is the right thing to do.
There are times I worry about what I’ll miss. I missed the first time he deliberately climbed on something to reach the top of my desk. I am almost certain I’ll miss his first steps. There may be other things I miss throughout this journey. But its okay. I am okay with it. He is with his dad. My husband, my best friend, his father is experiencing every moment of this for us. And he won’t forget to tell me every detail.
It’s perfect. Our situation is so perfect for our family.
And we couldn’t be happier
{Daddy and Beebza deep in thought. New Years Eve 2009}
i think this is wonderful. it is right for your family and that's what matters. in my sister's family, my brother-in-law is the stay at home dad. it is perfect.
I think you made the best decision ever. We don't have kids for someone else to raise them and now Miles gets to be loved and cared for by someone who loves and cares for him back. Good job Ryley…I'm supporting you all the way!
Josh got laid of several months ago, and with how hard it is proving to find a job, this might become our situation as well. We'll have to see who gets a job first, I guess. I think that as long as a parent is with the child, you couldn't ask for more!