About Links Archive Thats My Cake Follow Me

Archives for 2011

The dreaded “D” word..

It’s been kinda quiet around here.

I needed time.

Time to remind my heart to keep beating.

Time for my brain to wrap it’s self around what happened.

Time for me to dwell on the “what now.”


Awhile ago my husband made the decision to leave our marriage.

I was shocked and completely blindsided from the beginning.

I’m over the details.

I used to thrive on spilling every little detail to anyone that seemed like they were even slightly interested. But not anymore.

It is what it is.

I’m a single mom.

He has his own apartment.

Miles doesn’t have a daddy that lives here anymore.

Really? Those are the only ‘details’ that matter anymore. Or at least matter to us.

We are “ok”. I’ve used the term okayish more than I can even count. Because how are you okay when your 4 year marriage abruptly comes to a screeching halt? How are you okay when you hear your baby cry because he misses his daddy? Or when he says over and over “I wish dada could come home.”

So we’re not really okay. But at the same time we are.

We get up, we get dressed, we play with toys.
We have good days.
We have bad nights here and there. But we have good days.

I still have a happy 3 year old (HE TURNED THREE!!) and another family’s squirmy little one in my tummy to take care of. We are doing okay.
I can’t say enough about the out pouring of love, prayers and hugs that have come our way. I have felt truly and peace through this and I know that’s the reason.

Thank you for enduring the silence while I didn’t know quite what to say.

But now that the bad news is out of the way, we have lots of happy things to talk about again.

And the winner is..

What’s that they say about the best laid plans??

Because I had a good one. I had the best way to draw the winner for the Intermountain Moms contest but, as it so often does, life/schedules/naps/pregnancy/frosting got in the way.

I simply couldn’t wait any longer, I wanted to know how would be SO lucky to win this Babinski’s Baby gift card right in time for Christmas!

So, trusty ol’ Random.org came to the rescue..

Without further adu… Random will choose a number between 1 and 50 (I’m really doing it RIGHT NOW!)
And.. the winner is…

Comment #4..
(side note.. I try not to be one of the 1st few to enter a contest because I was SURE random.org NEVER picked from the top of the list… maybe I’ll change me comment entering ways..)

Now my favorite part of going to check and  see who lucky number 4 is,..


Jill K of (well..) www.Jill-K.com

Congratulations Jill!!!!

Thank you everyone for “liking” Intermountain Moms on Facebook, I hope you are enjoying that page and Nurse Dani! :


The past few days, maybe a week, have been so nostalgic for me. I wish I knew why, but my brain has been stuck on repeat somewhere between the years of 2000 and 2005. The memories come rushing over me, flooding back in such vivid color that I feel like I am right there again.

I just turned 17, on top of the world. Met a boy who took my breath away.  We sat in auditorium, girls dressed in white caps and gowns on the left, boys dressed in maroon on the right. He was directly across the isle from me. (I knew it was a good idea to find someone to love with a similar last name.) My eyes never left him. I cant tell you who spoke, I cant tell you what they talked about, but I can tell you how intently he hung on their every word as I smiled. Maybe I should ask him one day if anything important was said.  As soon as the caps flew, my body flew over into the sea of maroon. I was that one lone white gown in the arms of a boy in a sea of maroon. There is a picture somewhere of that. Maybe our yearbook. I treasured that picture with all I had. That picture was so clearly US, and how we were. It didn’t matter what happened around us. It was just me and him. In a sea.

Boy, we were crazy. A few months later we moved into our own apartment. Covered a hand-me-down HORRIBLE couch in purple velvet and became (what we thought were) adults. That apartment was our solitude.

Those memories just don’t stop.

There isn’t anything I want  from that time. There isn’t anything I hope to re-learn. There isn’t anything I want to do over. There isn’t anything I miss. I am content with the memories. Content with outcome. But I cant stop reliving them.

Maybe that period in my life mirrors the stage of life I am in right now. The exploration, the excitement the learning and growing. Maybe.

I would be lying if I didn’t say that some of these moments do come with “what-if’s” but they don’t last long. More often than not they end in “thank goodness.”

Each stop light bring a different moment, different memory.

I’m grateful for those memories. For the good times, and even the not so good times.

Grateful for the nostalgic moments, and the smiles that result from them.


Sometimes I can get lost in words. Last night I blog hopped. (my favorite hobby, but one I tend to leave off of my resume)
I got lost for an embarrassingly amount of time in words. Words that spoke to my soul. Words that resonated so many thoughts and feelings and of the past and kinda the present.

I was (even) surprised how grateful I was for someone else saying the words I didn’t want to. Reliving those moments that I didn’t want to. I just wanted to remember that moment in that boys arms on the day we graduated. Someone else can remember the heartbreak and devastation 6 years later.

I suddenly became nostalgic for the writer. Sympathy nostalgia or something, maybe. I kept digging further back. Looking for the begging of the ending I had just finished reading.

I thanked the writer. They probably don’t get thanks very often for doing something that comes so naturally. But my nostalgic heart needed that last night. (Or maybe this morning.. it was embarrassing.)

It doesn’t really mater if they are mine, or someone elses, I’m craving nostalgia.


Intermountain Moms *Contest CLOSED*

Having a young child with a medical issue sure puts your life into a tail spin sometimes.

When looking for a new {larger} house, our #1 priority was the proximity to a hospital.
Probably not the first thing you think of, right?

With Miles’s severe food allergies, there was a time that we were in the ER once a month. When seconds count we need to be as close as possible. We even turned down some houses because they were just so far away.

Our new house? Is perfect. Literally right around the corner from one of the newest Intermountain hospitals. Thankfully, in the year we’ve lived in our new home we have only visited their ER  4 times. Every time is better than the last and I am blown away with their service and kind staff.

Intermountain Health Care is constantly growing and evolving. I was so excited when they announced their new Intermountain Moms facebook page. And even MORE excited when I learn there is a REAL LIFE Nurse that is available to answer health related questions. It’s such a fantastic place to connect with other moms and other parents, and I’ve already learned SO much from their page.

Some quick facts about the Intermountain Moms page:

–  All mothers can ask a real nurse (Nurse Dani) questions about their pregnancy or children. She often answers with a video.

– The page has a lot of information and videos that act as support for new mothers. Most videos are OBCYN’s and Pediatricians answering FAQ’s.

– The page has a community of mothers that share stories and experiences. The fans are very active, engaged, and quick to help each other.


Are you ready for the best part????


They are graciously hosting an AMAZING giveaway for a $300 gift certificate to Babinski’s Baby just for checking them out.


Babinski’s Baby a charming children’s boutique in Salt Lake City.


$300 to spend on whatever you need for your children, or to give as a gift to someone expecting their very own bundle of joy!!!


To enter:

-Simply “like” Intermountain Mom’s on facebook and leave a comment to tell me you did.


Because I’m feeling EXTRA nice (and excited about this giveaway) you can earn one extra entry by tweeting : “I want to win a $300 gift certificate to @babinskis thanks to Intermountain Moms and @ryles http://bit.ly/rZwa3r” (or something similar.. Be creative!!!) (no extra points for creativity…Just makes me smile!)

Come back and leave a comment that you tweeted

And one extra entry by posting on your FB wall about the giveaway and coming

 back to leave another comment.


You now have 3 ways to win this AMAZING prize!!!


Contest will be closed on November 21st. Winner will be announced the 22nd!!!!!!

***The spoils for this giveaway were provided by Intermountain Mom’s. As always that thought and opinions are completely MINE! ***



{Woosh Woosh Woosh}

The past 3 months have been filled with so much anticipation and so much joy.  For the first time in 3 months I felt shear panic. The nerves shook my hands as they gripped the steering wheel. I could hear my heart beating. For a moment I thought I might hyperventilate. I considered pulling the car over. At the next stop light I sent an SOS to my closest friends to let them know I could use all the prayers they could spare.

I was driving to my monitoring clinic for the very first ultrasound. Hoping and praying to at least see one heartbeat from the 3 embryos we transferred 5 weeks earlier.

My mind had been so full of positives. Mantras I repeated over and over for 3 months. Today, I couldn’t remember any of them. My mind was suddenly filled with “What Ifs.” My mind couldn’t let them go.

Suddenly the radio went silent. My mind switched the daunting task of reaching allll the way to the radio to change it. When just as quickly as it went silent..

“My heart’s a radio, it beats for you so listen close..”

I chuckled a little. Of course. Turned the radio up WAY louder than it should have been and listened to every word. And there I was, driving down the road crying to a Gym Class Heroes song. (That thoughts made me chuckle too.)

My worries lifted like a big black cloud. Of course, this heart will beat  and it will beat for me.  It will beat so I can call the parents and tell them they are about to be parents. It will beat so they will hold their baby in 8 months. It will beat and I will listen close.

It was less than 30 minutes until I was laying on the table ready. Immediately one little black circle appeared on the screen.  Then.. there it was. That flicker. The baby is so small right now. But there was a flicker.

It amazes me how little the baby can be and how strong that little teeny tiny heart can beat. The doctor turned up the sound and there it  was.
I listened close.

We are all so excited to welcome this baby into the world.